Narrative Coaching: Using Stories to Drive Change

Employing Personal Narratives to Foster Development

Narrative coaching is a method that uses people’s stories as the primary vehicle for awareness and change. It operates on the principle that the narratives we tell ourselves are not just descriptions of events; they actively construct our reality, shape our identity, and dictate our possible actions. This approach helps clients notice, question, and reshape the stories that drive their behavior.

Foundational Principles of the Approach

This method is built on three interconnected ideas that guide every interaction.

• Stories shape identity and action. Our sense of self is formed by narratives—those we inherit from culture, family, and history, and those we construct from our experiences. These stories strongly influence what we believe is possible for us.
• Everything you need is right in front of you. The coach does not import external models or agendas. Instead, they work intently with the material the client brings into the session: their words, metaphors, body language, and emotions. The trust is that the resources for change are already present in the client's own narrative.
• Changing the story changes the system. When a person becomes aware of their operating narrative, they can experiment with alternative narratives. Shifting the internal story often leads to tangible changes in how they speak, make decisions, and relate to others, creating more sustainable change.

A Practical Process for Narrative Coaching

This is not a rigid script but a flexible framework for using stories to drive change.

1. Listening with Radical Presence

The initial focus is on deep, attentive listening without an immediate agenda. The coach begins in silence, allowing the client's story to emerge organically.

• Listen beyond the content to the form of the story. Notice recurring plots (e.g., "I always get overlooked"), characters (who are the heroes or villains?), powerful metaphors, emotional tone, and what is conspicuously absent or minimized.
• Practice "radical presence," letting go of the need to ask questions or solve problems prematurely. The goal is to fully receive the client's world as they present it.

2. Making the Narrative Visible

The next step is to help the client see the story they are telling as a story, not as an immutable truth.

• Invite the client to observe their own narrative. A simple question like, “What is the story I’m telling myself right now about this situation?” can be powerful.
• This act of externalization creates psychological space. It shifts the perspective from "this is how the world is" to "this is a story I am using," which immediately opens up possibilities for choice and agency.

3. Exploring the Story's Function and Effects

Instead of rushing toward solutions, stay with the story to understand its purpose and impact.

• Explore what the narrative is trying to accomplish. Is it protecting the client? Justifying a position? Maintaining a sense of belonging? How does this story shape their feelings, behaviors, and perceived options?
• By examining the narrative's effects, deeper needs and long-standing identity themes often surface. This exploration is crucial for meaningful change.

4. Working with Metaphors and Side Doors

Narrative coaches often bypass a client's well-defended, logical explanations by working with the figurative language that arises naturally.

• Treat metaphors as live, experiential material. If a client says they feel "on a tightrope," don't just note it—explore it.
• Engage in "serious play" with the image. Ask: “If this ‘tightrope’ were here in the room, what would you want to do with it? Step off? Find a balance pole? Who’s on the other side?” New understandings and options frequently emerge from within the metaphor itself.

5. Re-authoring and Experimenting

Using the client's own language and symbols, support the process of constructing a new, preferred narrative.

• Practice re-authoring by gently contrasting the old narrative with emerging alternatives. Highlight "unique outcomes" or exceptions—times when the old story didn't hold sway.
• Encourage small, safe experiments aligned with the new story. Change is framed as an ongoing process of making "a new choice again and again," which builds new habits and, over time, a new way of being.

6. Translating Narrative Shifts into Action

As clients begin to inhabit different stories about themselves, their actions naturally begin to change.

• The focus shifts to structures for success in the moment. Rather than only detailed advance planning, help clients identify key narrative "pivot points" in daily life—moments where the old story might trigger an old reaction.
• The question becomes: “In that moment, what would someone who believes the new story do?” This helps translate narrative shifts into real-world behavior in relationships, work, and decision-making.

How It Differs from Traditional Coaching Methods

Aspect	Narrative Coaching	More Traditional Goal‑Driven Coaching
Starting Point	The client's present story and lived experience in the moment.	Predefined goals and desired future outcomes.
Primary Focus	Identity, meaning, and the underlying narratives that shape perception.	Performance, skills, and measurable results.
Core Method	Deep listening, working with metaphors, silence, and re-authoring stories.	Questioning, reframing, action planning, and accountability.
View of Change	Emergent, non-linear, rooted in shifts of story and self-concept.	Often linear: define goal, plan, act, review.

Applying Narrative Methods in Organizations

In organizational settings, this approach is highly effective for complex human challenges.

• Supporting Transitions and Change: Help leaders and teams surface and reshape the collective narratives they hold about change, risk, and their identity during mergers, restructuring, or strategic shifts.
• Developing Authentic Leadership: Examine leaders' internal stories about authority, failure, and influence to foster greater presence and authenticity.
• Addressing Culture and Engagement: Listen for organizational "myths" and collective stories about "how things are done here." Facilitate groups in authoring more enabling narratives about "who we are" and "how we succeed."

Checklist for Your First Narrative Coaching Session

• $render`✓` Prepare to Listen: Center yourself. Your primary task is to receive the client's story without judgment.
• $render`✓` Notice Language: Pay close attention to specific words, metaphors, and repetitive phrases. Jot them down.
• $render`✓` Externalize: Find a natural moment to ask, "What's the story you're telling yourself about this?"
• $render`✓` Explore a Metaphor: If a vivid image arises, spend time with it. "Tell me more about that 'wall' you mentioned."
• $render`✓` Identify a Pattern: Listen for a recurring narrative theme (e.g., "I'm not ready," "They won't listen").
• $render`✓` Look for an Exception: Before closing, gently ask, "Was there ever a time when that story wasn't completely true?"
• $render`✓` Frame the Process: Normalize that change involves noticing and gently shifting stories over time.

Example Scenario: Coaching for Promotion Hesitation

Client Statement: "I know I should apply for the director role, but I keep putting it off. I look at the requirements and think, 'I've only led projects, not a whole department.' Everyone else seems so much more confident. I guess I'm just not a born leader."

Narrative Coaching Responses:

1. Making it Visible: "Let's look at the story showing up here. It sounds like, 'I'm not a born leader, and everyone else is more qualified.' Is that right?"
2. Exploring Effects: "What does believing that story make you do or feel? How does it keep you safe, and what might it cost you?"
3. Working with Metaphor: "You said others seem 'more confident.' If confidence were an object, what would it look like for you? How do you get it?"
4. Finding Exceptions: "You mentioned leading projects successfully. In those moments, what was a different story you might have been telling about yourself?"
5. Re-authoring Experiment: "If you were to try on a tiny piece of a new story—like 'I can learn to lead a department'—what would be one small, tangible action that story would lead you to do this week?"

This approach moves the conversation from a deficit ("I'm not a born leader") to a narrative of agency and learning ("I can learn to lead"). By using stories to drive change, you help clients unlock the transformative power of their own words and perspectives.